1. One of the fastest ways to tick me off is by taking money from the tip jar. People leave money in there for the Baristas because they think we deserve it. It doesn't matter if YOU believe in tipping at the coffee shop; it's still our money. It is NOT (NOT NOT NOT) a 'take a penny, leave a penny' jar.
I don't care what your reason is: I don't want to break a dollar. Do you mind if I just...(as they reach in for a penny). I don't want 4 pennies back, I just have to have that nickel.
The only way it is acceptable to take something out of a tip jar is if you leave something BIGGER. Don't touch my money!
2. The other fastest way to tick me off (and the catalyst for this post) is an assumption to entitlement to anything, especially money. A certain Regular, we'll call him Professor, has been coming to the coffee house for longer than my 2.5 years there. So, yeah, I've known this guy for that long. He is a great story teller, nice man, amazing teacher, and sometimes complains about his lack of money. Nothing about this man's personal life would lead me to even consider loaning him any amount of money.
He asks my coworker if he can borrow a dollar. My coworker doesn't have cash but Professor helpfully suggests there is money in the tip jar to borrow. He's told to ask my permission since it's my money too. I want to say "No" but instead I ask him what for. Professor needs to buy a newspaper for his wife. It would cost soooo much more if he had to go home, get a dollar, come back, and buy the paper, and go home again. Can't he just borrow a dollar?
I hesitate, staring at the money in the tip jar, I don't want to part with it, even 50 cents. Why do people feel the need to borrow money for something so inconsequential? Why wasn't he carrying his wallet in the first place? There's that sense of entitlement.
Thinking it through, I was about to say, "Take the paper and pay for it later." He's in all the time, would probably be back before close that night. My hesitation pissed him off. This was his rant as well as I can remember it:
"Forget it. Just forget it. You'll regret it. I borrowed $2 from Laura and I paid her back $5. Too late now." He ranted as he walked away, gathered his things, and was out the door. I stood frozen with shock, my mouth hanging open. I suppose I've never seen an 80 year old man act like a 12 year old.
His attitude made me furious!!! He thinks we're buddy buddy enough to borrow money back and forth? For me that's what FAMILY does, if necessary. Money and friendship NEVER mix. Loaning money ruins relationships, even tiny amounts.
This incident is just the topping on the cake! Professor doesn't pay for anything anymore. He comes and goes as he pleases, takes up 2, TWO, tables for his work materials and drinks our coffee. For a while he even was storing his chair cushion in our stockroom.
Somehow Professor has finagled his way out of paying for coffee. How did this happen? Not sure, but it probably began with a few well meaning freebies and the fact that he comes and goes all day long, taking full advantage of the free refills policy. And at later times during the day we assumed he'd already been in 4 or 5 times and don't charge him. Or he forgot his wallet one day. The excuses could go on. Anyway, he doesn't pay for his coffee and occasional other drinks and he helps himself to the expired bakery.
So, now Professor has this HUGE sense of entitlement; he doesn't even bring his wallet with him. It doesn't even cross his mind he might want to pay for his coffee and somehow support the business whose space and internet he's using.
My first instinct was to avoid him and hate his guts. But I won't; the mature thing to do is calmly talk about this. I want to clear the air so I don't feel awkward working with him there. Wow, this is a long post, but it makes me feel better to write this down.
One more thing...This man is a professor at a college. His income is probably 2x's, if not 3x's my household income. You seriously think it's appropriate to borrow any amount of money from someone making just above minimum wage? Seriously? This man knows nothing about our finances, doesn't know whether we can afford to loan even a penny. The reality is that we went through a very difficult financial time while I was pregnant (on bedrest) and after. Luckily, we are just starting to get back on our feet, save money for a rainy day, and we are being super careful. But that's not something I'd talk about unless the subject came up.
Life lesson: Before you ask someone for money, really think about it. Do you know the financial status and financial viewpoints behind your friend? Is that dollar worth rocking the boat of a perfectly calm relationship?
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